Genre warping grindcore, punk, jazz weirdos from the Hutt Valley that were anything but conventional.
Conventional Toasters sound was a chaotic, genre-defying blend of grindcore, death metal, and jazz that burst onto the Wellington music scene in 1992. Formed in the Hutt Valley by brothers Chris and Simon Swain with Simon Waterfield on drums and Alistair Watson on vocals, the quartet carved out a unique niche in the local punk and metal underground of the early 90’s.
Throughout their two-year run Conventional Toasters played with notable acts like SMUT, Septic Noise Grinder, Loosehead, Fat Mannequin, and Devoid, earning a reputation for their eye-raising live performances. In late October 1992 they entered Mediate Music studios with Tom Larkin and Phil Knight of Shihad serving as engineers. Their debut EP “Conventional Toasters: Put The Fun Back Into Funeral” was released in December 1992, coinciding with a national tour alongside heavyweights Shihad and Head Like A Hole.
In 1993, the band continued to gig sporadically while exploring new projects. They released a split EP titled Fun-er-al #3 Rot ’n’ Roll The King Rises Again with grindcore punk outfit Septic Noise Grinder, a band that Toasters bassist Chris Swain also played in. That July, three of their tracks appeared on the NZAVS compilation Poison Profits, celebrated with a launch gig at 178 Wakefield Street alongside SMUT. Despite these signs of life Wellington’s punk scene was going through a rough patch in 1993 with key acts such as SMUT splitting for Oz. With few bands and gigs happening Conventional Toasters played the aptly titled “Back From The Dead” in March 1994 alongside Septic Noise Grinder and Loosehead, for what would turn out to be their final show.
Post-Toasters, the members pursued diverse paths. Simon Swain dove into the burgeoning electronic music scene, performing as LRS and founding the electro-dance network Obscure. Simon Waterfield continued his drumming career, most recently with shoegaze band Hail Meteor. In 2023, their legacy was revisited with the release of Catharsis: The Sound Of The Wellington Underground 1989-1994, a 12” vinyl compilation featuring their track “Mushie Stuff“.
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| Origin | Hutt Valley |
| Genre | grindcore, metal |
| Years Active | 1992 – 1994 |
| Associated Acts | Shihad, Head Like A Hole, SMUT, Septic Noise Grinder |
| Past Members | Simon Swain (guitar) Chris Swain (bass) Simon Waterfield (drums) Alistair Watson (vocals) |
Releases
| Title | Date | Label | Type | Format |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Put The Fun Back Into Funeral | 1992, Nov/ Dec | DIY | EP | tape |
| Poison Profits | 1993, July 23 | compilation | tape | |
| Fun-er-al # 3 Rot’n’Roll: The King Rises Again | 1993 | split | tape | |
| Epitaph: New Zealand Death Grind Compilation | 1994 | compilation | tape | |
| Complete Recordings | 2015, March 19 | compilation | DL | |
| Catharsis: The Sound of Wellington Underground 1989-1994 | 2023 | Acid Fog Records | compilation | 12″ |
Timeline
1992, September 26, venue?
1992, October 17, Thistle Hall
1992, October 31-November 2, Mediate Music
1992, November 27, The Building
1992, November/ December, Put The Fun Back Into Funeral
1992, December 3-19, NZ Tour
1993
1993, February 21, Cuba Cuba
1993, April 3, James Cabaret
1993, June 12, Stax
1993, July, Fun-er-al # 3 Rot’n’Roll: The King Rises Again
split with Septic Noise Grinder
1993, July 23: Poison Profits
1993, July 23, 178 Wakefield St.
1994
1994, March 11, Thistle Hall
